Wednesday, June 22, 2011

An Old Story

I was reminded tonight of a story I told on Facebook a couple of years ago. It's a story that brings tears to my eyes, but I love it anyway. It reminds me of how much I need to give up control and trust God. So I thought I'd re-publish it for anyone else who could use a reminder, too.



Carter and I have started listening to "GT and the Halo Express" CDs whenever we're in the car. These are mini audio musicals from back in my day. They tell stories that teach Bible lessons and incorporate songs that are scripture put to music.

So we were listening to a song the other day about "walking through the valley," which, of course, is actually about hardship, but that fact is lost on a three-year-old. Out of the blue, Carter blindsides me with this: "I want to go to the valley, Mom. I want to go to the valley. Will I go to the valley, Mom? Will I? Will I? Will I? Will I? WILL I?"

He was so cheerful and obviously wanted a "yes" answer because whatever "the valley" was, it sounded like fun to him. But I couldn't answer. I have thought too long and too hard about the reality that is contained in the answer "yes".

The fact that my children will suffer in life is something I try not to think about. If I do, I tend to let fear come crashing in. I want to protect them from every imaginable danger. That's my plan, but God's plan is bigger. God is sovereign and He loves my kids even more than I do. So once again, I'm forced to take a deep breath and remind myself that when I cannot protect my kids from hardship, God is in control, and they are much better off in His care than mine.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Blessings

We are in the midst of a baby boom at our church. It's been so fun to share the journey of pregnancy with other women and now we are getting through the ups and downs of having newborns together. I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. But today it was a bit of a challenge for me.

One of my friends tried a certain trick with her daughter and she slept through the night. So another mom tried it and it worked with hers, too. So I tried it too. I didn't expect anything great--all babies are different and I've never had a baby that was a good sleeper early on. But still it was worth a shot.

It didn't make one bit of difference for Gavin. It was what I expected, and I was ok with it at 2 AM. I was ok with it at 5 AM. I was NOT ok with it by 7 AM. I was mad. I thought, Why can't I have one child who sleeps through the night on his own? As I went about my morning and the fog lifted from my brain, I realized just how unreasonable I was being. Gavin is only six weeks old. He has lots of time to figure this out on his own and if he doesn't, we'll still get through it just fine--we always have. But there is still this little nagging thought in my brain that says it's not fair and wonders how I can get some sleep now.

And then in the car this afternoon I heard Laura Story's song, "Blessings." This is the chorus:

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

I was brought to tears as I thought, What if this isn't about Gavin; what if it's about me? If God uses all things for our good, then he's using this for my good. Perhaps there is something I need to learn in the wee hours of the morning. Perhaps this very small, very expected, very normal trial is preparing me for a larger trial or is teaching me something.

I just hope it doesn't take a thousand nights for me to learn it.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Spit-up

Ooo. Fun. Just what you were hoping for when you logged onto the computer, right? A blog about spit-up.

Well that's what's on my mind, so here we go. :) Spit-up is s becoming a bigger and bigger issue here and I'm a little scared. Here's why: we've been through this before with Logan. In spite of our doctor's tips and tricks, that boy spit up large quantities of milk until he was over one year old. I remember Jeff commenting at one point early on that he didn't need to ask me each morning how the night went; he could just count the number of wet pajamas piled by the changing table and he would know. Three was normal; five was a bad night; I think seven was the record. It's hard to get out of bed after having just climbed back in because a little boy just woke himself up by dousing himself with milk. I hope we're not headed there again. I remember our doctor telling me that she usually prescribed reflux medicine for babies with acid reflux, not just reflux, but said, "If you twist my arm, I could be persuaded to prescribe him some." I declined, not wanting to give my baby any medicine that wasn't necessary. Now I wonder what was I thinking?? That could have made nights so much more bearable. We've had to switch doctors since then, but I hope that if Gavin's reflux gets that bad, our new doctor is willing to help us out.


Logan continues to warm up to Gavin. We've only had one rough day recently when he decided to test what would happen if he stepped on or hit the baby. He wasn't angry; I think he was just interested in Gavin's reaction. Hopefully he got the message that those things are unacceptable--he hasn't tried doing either after that day.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Under the Surface

Gavin is such a normal baby. He likes his pacifier. Sometimes. He prefers to be held. Always. He creates laundry like he's got nothing better to do. Oh, wait, maybe he doesn't.

Sometimes I stare at his little chest and marvel at the fact that there's something in there that shouldn't be. (On a side note, Gavin's CT scan is scheduled for August 2. We don't have to do anything else until then.) If it wasn't for the amazing technology we have available to us, we would have no idea something was amiss. We would think he was completely healthy.

I have been reminded by a couple situations lately that all people are like that. We all have things going on under the surface that others cannot see. Sometimes it's physical--a problem is there long before we feel symptoms or get a diagnosis. Other times it is relational or spiritual. The thought occurred to me that I don't pray for my friends and family nearly enough. When everything appears to be going well in someone's life, I don't know how to pray, so I don't. I'd like to be better at that and encourage you to do the same. Don't assume that all is well just because that's how it appears.

But then the question is how? How do you pray for someone when you don't know their specific needs? I don't know the answer to that one, so I'm going to turn it back to you. If you have suggestions for me, I would love to hear them.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Getting Out and About

We went out twice yesterday. It was an amazing feat.

Yesterday morning, I got all the kids ready and out of the house on time. It was my first time taking them all out by myself! I have to admit, though, that it really doesn't count because I was taking Carter and Logan over to a friend's house so I could go to an eye appointment and get contacts. So I really just had one kid with me. I'm excited to finally have contacts again after having just had glasses for several months now. I have them just in time for summer so I can wear sunglasses again.

Getting them out of the house last night was an even bigger accomplishment even though Jeff was there to help. Jeff had a softball game last night that we were all going to watch. I had everything planned out so carefully. Dinner at 5:00. Feed Gavin at 5:30. Leave at 6:00. Get to the park in plenty of time for the 6:50 game. Jeff came home just as dinner was coming out of the oven at 5:00. I knew something was off when he immediately started scrambling to get ready. Turns out the game was scheduled for 5:50, not 6:50. So we ate as fast as we could, packed crackers to supplement the boys' half-eaten supper. and had everyone in the car at 5:25. Amazing! I'm glad we did it. We had a fun time at the game and even let the boys run off some energy at the playground afterwards.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Blogging Diva

I would like to blog more. I can't tell you how many blog posts I've started and not finished since Gavin was born. I have an idea in my mind of what I'd like my blog to be: an honest picture of life in our household; an encouragement to other moms; and a thoughtful assessment of what God is doing in our lives. I have one friend in particular that does an excellent job at that and I would like to follow her example.

But I've recently discovered a problem with my plan: I am a blogging diva. I want to read and reread, edit and re-edit every word that I write and I want to do it uninterrupted. While sipping coffee. And listening to Jason Mraz. I don't want to type one-handed while rocking Gavin, wrestling the mouse away from Logan, and listening to Carter's stories of climbing volcanoes to collect hot lava for the latest recipe that he's creating, which apparently calls for hot lava.

But that's my life right now, so I'm going to try to be less picky about having the perfect blogging conditions and get some blogs written about life in our household. But when there is a lengthy break between blogs, just assume that our household is alternating between frustrating and fun, crazy and calm, busy and boring. Probably a lot like yours. Assume that God is working in our lives and that I'll get around to blogging about it...just as soon as I find my coffee cup. And a pacifier for Gavin. And something to occupy Logan...